Dear Uncle Gary, Our son is coming home from college, and he’s bringing someone he cares about, his boyfriend. We love our son deeply, but we’re struggling with how to handle this visit in a way that reflects both our Christian values and our desire to stay connected as a family. We’re unsure how to approach the conversation, especially around whether his boyfriend should stay in our home. How can we talk to our son honestly, without damaging our relationship?
Signed, Good Christian Family
Dear Good Christian Family,
You say you love your son. That’s the part I believe. But love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice, especially when it’s inconvenient. Especially when it stretches you. Especially when it asks you to open the door to someone you don’t yet understand. Choose love.
Your son is coming home. He’s bringing someone he cares about. And you’re standing at a crossroads, do you welcome them both, or do you draw a line that says, “Only part of you is allowed here”?
I know this is hard. I know it’s not what you pictured. But let me offer this. The most powerful thing a Christian family can do is make room. Not just for the people who fit the mold, but for the ones who challenge it. Jesus didn’t spend his time with the comfortable and the familiar. He broke bread with outsiders, with the misunderstood, with the people polite society didn’t know what to do with.
So maybe this visit isn’t a test of your values. Maybe it’s an invitation to live them more fully.
If you’re not ready to embrace your son’s boyfriend as family, then start by embracing him as a guest. As someone your son loves. As someone who’s watching closely to see what kind of welcome your home really offers.
You don’t have to understand everything. You don’t have to agree with everything. But you do have to decide what kind of love lives in your house.
Choose grace. Choose hospitality. Choose the kind of welcome that makes your son proud to call you family. Taking any other path could create a rift between you and your son for years.
