Dear Uncle Gary,
I ghosted someone I genuinely liked because I panicked. Now they’re dating someone else, and I feel sick. Do I reach out or let it go?
Signed Kicking Myself
Dear Kicking Myself,
You ghosted someone you genuinely liked. Not because you didn’t care, but because something in you hit the panic button. That’s not a crime, it’s a moment. But moments have consequences, and now they’re with someone else. And you’re stuck in that aching space between “what was” and “what could’ve been.”
So here’s the deal. If you’re thinking of reaching out, ask yourself what you’re really hoping for. A clean apology? A second chance? A little relief from the guilt? Because if it’s closure, you can offer that. If it’s disruption, if you’re hoping to shake something loose in their new relationship, then don’t. That’s not love, that’s your ego dressed up in nostalgia.
But if you can own your silence, name your fear, and offer a simple truth, “I panicked, and I regret it,” without expecting anything in return, then maybe that message is worth sending. Not to reopen the door, but to close it with grace.
And if you don’t reach out? That’s okay too. Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is sit with the discomfort, learn from it, and let it shape how you show up next time.
No drama. No declarations. Just clarity.
