I just turned 40 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up
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Dear Uncle Gary,
I just turned 40 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Is that normal, or am I just lost?
Signed, Peter Pan
Dear Peter Pan,
First off, welcome to the club, membership includes artists, accountants, baristas, and I know at least three retired dentists who still don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. You're not lost. You're just alive.
Forty isn’t a deadline. It’s a checkpoint. I totally changed my life at forty. I’m in the process of changing things at sixty-five. And if you’re asking the question, that means you’re still curious, still searching, still open. That’s not failure. That’s fuel.
The myth is that grown-ups have it all figured out. The truth is, most of us are winging it with a mix of hope, habit, and caffeine. Some people find their calling at 22. Others stumble into it at 63 while trying to fix a broken toaster and realizing they love working with their hands.
So what now? Start small. Follow the itch, not the map. What makes you lose track of time? What do people thank you for? What would you do even if it didn’t pay? That’s the trailhead.
And remember: Peter Pan never grew up, but he sure knew how to fly.
P.S. If you ever want to talk about what lights you up, or what scares you, I’m here.
