Dear Uncle Gary,
I’m 28, confident, successful, and, if I may say so, easy on the eyes. I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist. He’s gorgeous. Movie-star smile, strong hands, the kind of presence that makes you forget your mouth is full of cotton.
I don’t know if he’s gay. His online footprint is all business degrees, credentials, and office hours. No personal clues, no social media breadcrumbs. But when I’m in the chair, I swear there’s something. He leans in close, sometimes resting his crotch against my hand or shoulder. I never move. I just let myself enjoy the warmth, the proximity, the possibility.
But he never reacts. No wink, no shift, no signal. It’s like he doesn’t even notice. Am I imagining this? Or is there a chance he feels it too?
Should I take the risk and ask him out, or keep my fantasies confined to the dental chair?
Sincerely, Confused and a little turned on Patient
Dear Confused and a little turned on Patient,
I’ve had root canals with less tension than what you’re describing. Let’s start with the obvious: you’re not the first person to fall for someone who flosses professionally. But before you start planning your wedding registry at Harrods and Bergdorf Goodman, let’s take a breath.
Now, I don’t know if your dentist is gay, straight, or just really committed to ergonomics. That little lean-in you’re describing? Could be accidental. Could be intentional. Could be OSHA violation. But unless he’s whispering sweet nothings between rinses, I wouldn’t read too much into it.
Here’s the thing: you’re charming, you’re confident, and you’ve got a pulse, which already puts you ahead of most people in the waiting room. But this is a professional setting. If you ask him out and he’s not interested, or worse, feels uncomfortable, you risk turning your next cleaning into a very awkward silence.
So what do you do? You wait. You look for a sign outside the dental chair. A smile that lingers. A conversation that goes beyond fluoride. If you get nothing, you let it go. Because the only thing worse than unrequited love is being ghosted by someone who still holds your molars in their hands.
And if it turns out he is interested? Well, then you’ve got yourself a love story with great dental coverage.
With admiration and a raised eyebrow, Uncle Gary
